You Suck My D*ck


Following this bleeding, bloody mess, I snapped off one of the grander epics ever put to this site.

If you’ve got some time, you really should go back and re-live this one. If not, I’ll sum it up briefly:

Russian Alliance took London from Flota Gallega while the login server was down and a crash ensured that FG could not put up more than one defender in the last two tiles combined. FG rightly complained; RA took to the forum and described how this was a demonstration of their skill. RA demanded that all the talk be settled via an officially sanctioned fleet battle or through a showdown at Baltiysk.

And the unforgettable this:

Every Russian Alliance idiot piled on with the insistence that unless they could be defeated in either of those venues, nobody else was worthy of even discussing skill, tactics, or fair play. A vast amount of incredible stupidity was produced from many RA tards who became famous on the forum that day. I need not demolish again the morons who already endured my pointed wrath.

Last Saturday, Golden Boys attacked Russian Alliance’s Baltiysk harbor. We plowed the first room in just over five minutes. We smashed through the second in just under seven. It had to become more difficult at this point, didn’t it? Surely leadership felt so, because the message came down from the top as we headed to the third room: “Don’t get cocky.”

So of course the next few minutes were jam packed with all sorts of penis jokes because it is never safe to drop the cock bomb around NavyField players. This was all taking place even before I had time to mention that after the HA I was going to be heading outside to clean my d*ck. I never even got a chance to talk about Cockfosters.

Anyway, the third room didn’t live up to the hype and the dick references never really got toned down. We were through it in just under eight minutes and had only one tile to clear before seeing the harbor. Not even that could motivate Russian Alliance. Starting with 16 BB’s (two fewer than the 18 they ran in the second tile) and losing three of them (plus two subs) in the first 40 seconds, Golden Boys wiped RA from the map in under twelve minutes.

And we porked you in the Harbor Tile in 16 minutes (plus a few more seconds to shell down the harbor itself). In the video I have been enjoying, I count that Russian Alliance had 30 people in that final battle. One crashed. One got TK’d. Two retreated. One burned out. The rest were sunk. Of those twenty-five, ten kills were claimed by girth and mcpras. TWO BB’S TOOK OUT A THIRD OF YOUR HARBOR TILE FORCE.

The entire HA took right around 72 minutes. We did you guys faster than we did Knights Templar at Hamburg three weeks ago, and we had twelve more people for that attack. Knights freaking Templar held out longer than you (and no, I’m not even counting the beach party with the tanks and little men that I love so very very much) – yes, that Knights Templar that had a harbor tile force partly comprised of andy1984, bayes, cyddy, derekertel, elcuquito2, fravacu, genhex, hellester, skidd, taylor_sith, usslamesa, and wolfinwoods. They can now be compared to you in the same way that BAMF and CHNB and Armored Angels were famously equated.

Oh, and if somehow we are still failing to effectively articulate the points at hand, allow us now to summarize them in a manner that your feeble brains can understand:

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One Response to You Suck My D*ck

  1. myg0t1 says:

    Best. Post. Ever!

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